Are you in the spooky Halloween spirit? I sure am! And just for fun I’m offering a Halloween inspired reading that “predicts” how you will fair in the zombie apocalypse. For this week only, join in for some silly Halloween shenanigans and get your completely fictional tarot card reading for the approaching zombie apocalypse. I’ll draw three cards from the totally amazing Zombie Tarot Deck and tell your fortune for the very affordable price of $5. Here is an example of the one I did for myself:
When the apocalypse comes I’m going to have to make some tough life choices pretty quick. The love of my life is going to be infected with the zombie virus right away, leaving me with the decision of whether or not to become a zombie myself so that I can stay with her. Oh dear, I always thought Kristen would survive the zombie apocalypse for much longer than I would, so I’m surprised and dismayed. Our love is strong though, so I won’t abandon her, but I decide not to become a zombie myself. I mean really, it doesn’t look pretty being a zombie so I decide to see how long I can stay alive.
So what can I do to survive? Well, It seems like holing up in a bunker is the best option. I’m really good at alone time and daydreaming, so living a solitary existence in a bug out shelter turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I have plenty of time to read books, write stories, learn tarot, practice my firearms skills, and meditate. Things will probably clear up eventually above ground and then I can emerge to a world with a lot less annoying people. I’ll end up on the beach someday if I appropriately ration my canned goods. This would be a little more interesting with the internet, but we all have to make sacrifices to survive.
But whatever happened to my lover, you ask? Well, I couldn’t become a zombie to stay with her, but I also couldn’t let her just roam the earth eating brains and being a terrible nuisance. The solution was to figure out a way to store her head in some formaldehyde and hope that someday huge advances in science would be able to put her back together again. In the meantime, I have someone to talk to in my bunker and she never interrupts me or disagrees. It was hard work figuring out how to preserve a zombie head, but true love and plenty of time on my hands can accomplish a lot. Together indefinitely in our bunker, my love and I.
So what do you say? Want to know what your fate will be in the zombie apocalypse? It’s time get undead… or will you survive? I’ll send you your reading within a day for just five buckaroos. What a steal! Go ahead and click below for some Halloween fun 🙂 I’m only offering this reading until Sunday, November 7th so act quick!
ZOMBIES! AHH!! ZOMBIES!!!!