A Personal Reading for the New Year 2019

Happy New Year! Each year I love to sit down and enjoy some “me time” by delving into the energy of my year ahead using the insight and guidance of the tarot. I use the spread that I offer to everyone on my email tarot readings page so you can get an idea of what my reading style is and if you would like a similar reading for yourself. I’ll be offering this reading until January 13th, so you can order one any time up until then 🙂

I wish each of us the positivity and perseverance to make 2019 an incredibly satisfying and enjoyable year for ourselves, and for each other. 

Now, here’s my reading for me!

The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck

1. A 2019 overall theme card: V of Cups reversed
2. A positive influence to guide me: II of Swords reversed
3. An energy that will challenge my growth: The High Priestess reversed
4. A message to promote abundance, gratitude, and healing: VI of Swords 
5. Relationship/love influence ahead: The Empress reversed
6. Career/work energy ahead: IV of Pentacles reversed
7. Wellbeing/spiritual calling coming: II of Cups

Let the reading begin! The first thing I noticed about these cards is that I drew mostly reversals. This is a call to go inside and process a major change in my outer world with a corresponding transition of my internal world. 2018 was an incredibly challenging year for me, perhaps more so than any year of my life. I suffered a major loss that caused me to swing between denial and depression for the last six months. Change in life situations can be difficult to impossible when a corresponding inner transition does not accompany the outward changes of circumstances. I’m ready to accept my loss and start healing.

The V of Cups reversed as the theme card of my year ushers in a year of acceptance, healing, and moving on. I’m at a turning point, as every 5 card indicates. I’m still in the struggle, but the reversal shows me that I am making progress, I am ready to move on and acceptance that the past cannot be changed. I am determined to release and let go, but also uncertain of what the future holds. I feel like I’m in an in between place, processing an ending before starting a developmental journey that will be the beginning of a new chapter of my life. The V of Cups reversed reminds me to be gentle and quiet, especially when it comes to my emotions which can be volatile and erratic. Dealing with disappointment, regret, and loss requires substantial time and patience and I want to give those to myself this coming year.

The acceptance that I feel gives me hope for the next chapter of my life. I intend to be more self-aware, more empathetic, stronger, wiser, self-validating, self-possessed and more creative. I have a lot of exploration, reflection, and redesign work to do in my head, heart, and very spirit. Hopefully, the outcome of that internal work will be a more evolved version of myself, built upon the new knowledge I gained during this transition period. The V of Cups reversed gives me encouragement that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that painful, messy growth is sometimes the best option available, and that I will be okay.

The II of Swords reversed is a positive influence to guide me in the year ahead. Honestly, this feels more like a warning that a warm hug. I am confused and disoriented about what comes next in my life, and have a tendency to take in a lot of information and advice in order to choose my best path. Perhaps the II of Swords reversed is patting me on the back for getting off of social media for a while. I decided to put Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter out of my life for the foreseeable future. My brain is overwhelmed with new information from all angles, which just isn’t helpful. I want to make decisions about my future that are based on my values and what’s best for me. Being in touch with that inner knowing can be difficult when I bombard myself with all kinds of messages about how to life my best life. Even positive, life-affirming messages can be too much for a soul in full-on growth phase. I need to keep it simple and quiet.

The II of Swords also shows the positive influence of taking a break from trying to integrate two opposing points of view. Being in disagreement and conflict for the last half of the year has left me frazzled and weary of continuing to state my opinions, philosophies, and beliefs without any change or compromise. The space between viewpoints feels like the blackhole depicted in the II of Swords above. Instead of a vibrant and alive space, it feels dull and dead. Taking a break from that conflict, just focusing on myself, and being quiet sounds fantastic at the moment. This space to myself is a positive influence in 2019.

The High Priestess reversed as the energy that will challenge my growth really supports this idea of quiet and calm. This card represents the subconscious and the use of intuition. Being a tarot reader, you won’t be surprised that I highly value the use of intuition in decision making and planning out life path steps. It may surprise you to learn that I don’t feel like I have been connected to my intuition. The denial that I wrote of earlier is part of that. I had created an identity for myself based upon my life situation instead of upon my eternal self or “me-ness”. When the reality of my life situation changed, I didn’t know who I was anymore, which is an unhealthy way to live. Denying the need for internal transition and creation of a self-validated identity blocked my intuition last year. It would burst out in fits and tantrums (literally!) but then I would shove it away again. “It’s time to change, Deird. You have to let go. Your reality has changed and you can’t stay the same.” But I wouldn’t listen.

My challenge in the year ahead is to start listening to my intuition again. The II of Swords reversed shows me stuck in a situation in which I can’t figure out which path forward will have the least negative consequences for me. The High Priestess reversed calls me to trust and have faith that I’ll pick the right path for me if I just quiet down and listen. One of the challenges that comes with this is that this quiet time is very self-focused after a period of intense interest and dependence on other people’s emotions and needs. It is extremely hard for me to put my needs first and breaking from this pattern requires intense effort on my part. Learning to acknowledge my own wants and need, self-validate, and hold onto myself in the face of other’s demands is my current challenge. Meeting that challenge will allow amazing growth for me.

The hard messages of the last two cards are softened by the healing energy of the VI of Swords. Finally an upright card! and this one shows the shift towards a new mindset and perspective on life. It may be difficult, dark, and unwanted but it is definitely happening, no if, ands, or buts about it.  I must remember, though, that relief is not withheld from me now or in the future. This transition holds healing, it is a rite of passage, it is a movement from one stage of life to the next. The movement is subtle and sometimes excruciatingly slow, but there is a shifting and I will arrive on a distant shore a healthy and more whole version of myself. There is no reason to look back with regret or imagine that the past wasn’t “real.” The past was what I was capable of as the person I was at the time. Now I am transforming and will be capable of more.

The VI of Swords often indicates travel and that is something that I think would be very healing for me. I am not in a place financially where I can afford travel, but making plans and saving up are the only things currently on my agenda for the year. I always love to travel, it allows me to stay present in the moment much more easily than in my day-to-day life. Being in the present is a wonderful place to be. It is the time when everything is happening. I’m grateful for all the opportunities that I’ve had to travel in the past and hopeful and excited about future possibilities for travel. I also recognize that I am traveling at this moment, just not physically, all the movement is within me, happening at a glacial and elegant pace.

The VI of Swords indicates a low mood, the blues, and depression. The thing for me to remember is that this is normal and that pruning back, healing, regeneration, and new growth can all happen here. It certainly doesn’t feel good to be depressed but it is a necessary part of the transition process. Everyone has their winter, when everything dies and the world gets cold. At this darkest time, we can still remember the warmth of the summer and hold hope for the spring. Taking things one day at a time, noting what progress I do make, and being gentle and patient with myself are all recommended.

I drew The Empress reversed for my love/relationship energy going into 2019. Perhaps it hasn’t been abundantly obvious if you don’t know me, but this loss that I’m dealing with is one of love and relationship. The Empress reversed also indicates a need for some alone time to believe in myself again, to get in touch with my own needs and wants in life, outside of my relationship. I’ve been neglecting my own power, my own place, my own life path. I’m uncertain about what the future of my relationship is, besides knowing that what is was is over and what comes next is unknown- something or nothing that is left to be seen.

The Empress reversed reminds me that I need to be careful not to place myself in a situation where I’m waiting to see what happens, though. This isn’t about my relationship anymore, whatever it was is over, and whatever it is going to be is uncertain. In that uncertainty I need to work on my own emotional issues and mental problems and spiritual calling. This is independent and personal work that I’m doing, not to try and patch things up or pass the time waiting, but rather now is my time. It’s all about my relationship with myself. I want to believe in myself again. I want to trust myself. I want to validate myself. I want to live my values. I want to get ahold of myself and feel together internally again.

The Empress reversed is also an indicator for depressed mood and negativity, this time in the area of love. What can I say- I’m a bag of laughs these days!  Okay, see I still do have a sense of humor, but I’m also okay with being sad. I’m not going to fight it. I’m not going to pretend everything is fine. I’m not going to pretend I’m enjoying this. I’m not going to try and avoid, ignore, or speed up this winter mood. Sometimes I laugh because I say I love personal development and growth, but then when I’m presented with it so obviously and immensely, I’m all, “No thanks! This sucks!” It doesn’t help to remind myself that I will look back on this time as hugely meaningful and important, but I do still know that that is true. 

The presence of The High Priestess reversed and The Empress reversed indicates a need to connect more positively with my feminine energy. I have been passive to the point of being disconnected from my abundant creativity and personal life energy. This doesn’t mean I have to push myself to do, do, do and create. Rather it’s time to nurture and love myself quietly and calmly. Building myself back up may take a while as I reconnect to my calm inner center, my ability to manifest magic, my inner beauty and my inspiration to create. This is a gentle process with no need for the pressure to suddenly be restored and in the full swing of creation. Life is a complex interconnected system, not a machine that can be quickly fixed with new parts. A solid foundation of self love, self esteem, and self possession can flow out into all areas once it is firmly established. That is something I really need to work on this year with The Empress and The High Priestess as my guides.

For the work and career energy of my 2019 I drew the IV of Pentacles reversed. This points out a relative lack of interest in career stability in my life at the moment. Going through so much turmoil in my relationship department has really pulled my focus away from the material world of finances and work. Of course, I still need money to live my life and I’ve been mostly focused on not spending too much so that I can feel secure that I’m not living outside of my means. This could be a great time figure out what my needs actually are and step outside of my usual comfort zone of work to try and meet those needs. It doesn’t look like 2019 is shaping up to be a financially successful year, but knowing that that energy is lacking in my life right now could be just the kick in the pants I need to start turning things around for myself.

Lastly, I drew the II of Cups for the energy of wellbeing and spirituality that 2019 brings with it. I love, love, love seeing this card as the last one in the reading. It evokes a sense of self love and living in alignment with my values that I really need right now. When a person truly loves themselves, validates themselves, and can stand on her own two feet, that is when she is most capable of forming meaningful and lasting relationship with another person. I aim to see myself positivity, honor and respect myself, treat myself how I want to be treated by others, so to say. The II of Cups comforts me that I am following my spiritual calling and doing what is best for my wellbeing at this time. I’ve felt out of alignment with the Universe, like the Universe is playing cruel and unusual tricks on me. I know that that is not how the Universe works, I just can’t see the patterns, the master plan, all of destiny laid out before me- and I never will! But I will see pieces, and I will be consoled, and certain things that I need to know now will come to light in their own time and way.

As far as physical wellbeing, the II of Cups suggest balance and moderation in all things. When we take care of our emotional needs, we often end up simultaneously addressing the physical ailments of the body. When we work and relax in equal measure, it can quiet the mind and the body. When we spend as much time exploring and uncovering our inner world as we do creating in the outer world, we derive more peace and joy in life. This year I need to remember to harmonize the duality within me between the internal feminine and the external masculine energies. This is wonderful advice for anyone but especially those who have been doing far too much and are getting increasingly overwhelmed by the demands of the modern world and society. Maybe you too want to take a break from social media for a while?  😉

Okay, I am going to leave it on that positive note. This reading was uncomfortably personal for me and I may only leave it up for the short time that this reading spread is available to order on the email readings page. This is a great example of how a tarot reading can bring up present uncomfortable truths, things we don’t want to face but when we do, we grow exponentially. Are you ready to discover the transformative power of tarot?

Happy New Year 2019!!