How to Start Things and Not Finish Them

I know what you’re thinking- the title is actually some reverse psychology and I’m going to turn this into a motivational post about how to finish things. No really, I’m not. This is a post about starting things, starting a million projects, ideas, and goals. And then not finishing them. Abandoning ship. Veering off course. Leaving things hanging. Let’s start all the things and not finish them in six easy steps!

The idea for this post came from my boyfriend. At some point this winter we were sitting on a chairlift at a ski mountain. (Skiing is really half exercising the thrill of swishing down slopes on sticks and half trying to stay warm and entertained on a chair that is way up in the air. It’s an interesting sport.) The conversation turned to what our words of the year were going to be. Yes, it was I who turned the conversation in this direction, but he played along. He tested out the word “Finish”. He has a lot of projects going on and wanted 2025 to be the year that he finished them up. Then we got to joking about how he is really good at starting things and not finishing them, excellent in fact. He is so proficient at starting things and never finishing that he could write a whole book about it. The book would just kind of end at some point, probably mid-sentence, because the book could not be finished either.

Funny, right?

Well, it is funny, but I also think that starting things IS a skill. There something really beautiful about a beginning. It is full of hope and inspiration. There is so much potential! The act of starting doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Some of us struggle to act. We want so badly to make a fresh start or get a project into some kind of material form, but we don’t get there. Perhaps it’s because there is too much worry about the process, the amount of work, the vision for completion. Thinking too far ahead can be a deterrent to starting.

So in the interest of glorifying and codifying starting things and not finishing them, here are my Six Steps To Starting Things and Not Finishing Them:

Step One:

First off, we need to start. Simple enough. Don’t overthink it. Don’t make a long term plan. Don’t even tell yourself that you’ll finish it someday. Just start. And start things all the time! Every time you get an idea that sounds awesome, starting work it on it right away. This will get you into the habit of starting and over the hurdle of doubt that is wondering how you’ll ever finish the thing. Who cares what is going to happen in a month or a year, what’s important is that you want to start that thing, so do it NOW.

Step Two:

You can always change course later on if your goals or your inspiration shifts. It’s likely that you’ll start out going in one direction and then learn some new information along the way and have to adjust your project, goal, or direction. That is fine. There are probably going to be parts of the original idea that you worked on that need to get dropped at this point. Say you want to write a book and do step one- just starting writing. Along the way, you realize the book is about something completely different, so you have to scrap what you already wrote. No big deal! You don’t need to continue with that idea or keep all the writing. Hit delete and head off to where you now want to go. Know that you couldn’t have gotten to this next great book idea if you hadn’t started writing in the first place. Direction shifts are to be expected, so just drop those old directions like a hot potato.

Step Three:

It’s also okay to just stop the project or goal at any time if you find out that you don’t enjoy it. Perhaps it turns out that you don’t like writing. Stop. Don’t waste your time doing things that you don’t like, just because you’ve started. If you don’t like something, you don’t like it. There are plenty of things to do in life that you do like, so drop your preconceptions of what you “should” like and try something else. A common example is to start reading a book and then realize you don’t like the book, but instead of putting it in a free little library or giving it away, you leave it around to “finish someday”. And then what do you do? You don’t start reading a book you actually like because you’ve still gotta finish that one you don’t enjoy.

Step Four:

The book example is pretty lightweight and easy to see how you should probably just not finish it and move on. But what about resistance to goals and projects that you actually do want to do deep down, but you’re giving yourself an out because it isn’t enjoyable 100% of the time? Well, sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re in resistance or if you’re going after a goal that isn’t really for you. In this case, I would give it some space. Drop it for now. Go on and do something else. Give that goal some room to breathe and check back in on it later. It is fine to take a break from something and come back later, and remind yourself that this is totally ok (because it is). Then, when some time has gone back, check back in and see if you still feel drawn to that old project or if it was just a phase. Be totally ok with it if it was just a phase. It was not a waste of time, don’t go there.

Step Five:

Be okay with leaving half-finished projects strewn throughout your past. This is the most important key to starting things and not finishing them. Don’t be critical of yourself for this type of behavior. There is a cultural norm or standard in our society that says that following through and reaching your goals is some kind of moral value that defines a person. This belief is deep down within your bones; you think that in order to be a good person you have to be a finisher. People who don’t finish what they start are morally bankrupt in some capacity. I’m just going to say no to that. No, no, no. The new rule is that it is beautiful and upright to go after what calls to you and check it out. If it turns out that that idea is not one you want to continue pursuing, you put it down, don’t finish it, and move on to the next thing. NO BIG DEAL.

There is a call here to not take life so seriously. A serious person finishes everything they start and is therefore respected by the group. But for what reason? This feels like something tribal and ancient, when sticking with and protecting the group was the most important part of survival. But it isn’t like that anymore. The things that people judge us for not following through on aren’t necessary for the survival of the tribe. People are just being judgmental and cruel to keep us trapped on a path out of a need for certainty and stability from their surroundings.

There is no certainty. We are constantly in a state of change. The key to starting things and not finishing them is to realize that the world of one day is not the world of the next. What was the goal, the mission, the plan at one point is not going to forever be that way forever. If we don’t take things too seriously, if we hold it all loosely, then we don’t suffer when things change. We see a new opportunity to start something and we rejoice in that instead of dragging our feet because we didn’t quite finish the last thing.

Step Six:

Let me end with a final thought about starting things and not finishing them. A lot of the time the project is actually finished and we just don’t realize it. We want to put one last touch on it to make it perfect. We want to edit it one more time. We want to shine it up a bit and make it really gleam. Listen, the thing is done. It might not be perfect or gleaming, but it’s actually done. What we’re really doing here is delaying. The push to start something new is here but instead we’re ignoring it because change is scary and hard and we want to just keep working on what we know. Or we’re perfectionists who can never say enough is enough and move on to the next thing. Listen, nothing is ever really perfect in this world, that’s the beauty of it. Let it be what it is, recognize its quality of never really finished, and move along. It’s fine the way it is.

And lastly, you may have noticed that I didn’t relate this subject to a tarot card. Which card do you think would be the best at starting things and not finishing them? I’d give the award to any of the Knights I think- definitely the Knight of Wands! I think there is a lot to say about the energy of the Knights here, but I’m already over my word count for this post, so I will save it for another day. See, this post isn’t perfect and doesn’t include all the information I want to impart to you, but it’s done. I’m moving on! I’ll probably do a Step Four and come back for it later. Or maybe it’s a Step Six and good enough is good enough!