Death Soul Meditation

The Soul Meditation on Death began as usual with a relaxation exercise.  When I stepped into the scene from the Death card, I noticed a smell of fresh earth and the soft sound of a chanted prayer.  I knelt down to feel the dirt, finding it was rich, fecund and moist.  I looked upon the body of the fallen king, sensing the first stink of decomposition.  The maiden in white cried silently and the child held out his flower unaware.  I looked up at Death upon his white steed and felt fear and menace as he loomed eerily over me, projecting an evil grin as if he wanted to frighten me.  

As I continued to gaze at him, he morphed into a smaller, gentler, almost kindly skeleton. He became mundane and unimpressive, showing me that Death only has the appearance of terror,  but it happens every day, making it a routine activity. When Death reached down his skeletal hand, I was hesitant to touch the bones.  I moved forward and slowly grasped his fingers.  A thrill of excitement and wonder flooded through me. I let Death swing me up onto his horse, facing him in the saddle.  Death explained to me that the wonder, thrill and excitement of the new is only one side of death, transformation and change.  There is much more to Death than simply the promise of a rebirth.  Death is a process. Death is more than just the prospect of change. Death is change. Death is a new beginning and an ending.  It isn't all about the thrill of something new that usually I feel when I draw this card, but also includes the letting go of what happened before.  Accepting the past and releasing it.

Death told me not to be lazy or fail to follow through on my transformations.  Sometimes I get all excited about something new, but then I don't complete the process of ending.  I feel like I'm always moving on to the next thing, without letting go and leaving behind previous versions of myself.  I can't keep reinventing myself, or redefining myself, or even discovering more about myself, without letting go of old definitions.  For example, I can't keep exploring my spirituality without letting go of the girl I was who didn't believe in spirit.  I can't be both an agnostic and have specific unshakeable beliefs. So whenever the Death card comes up in a reading, I should remember to interpret it as major life change that includes something coming to a close.  If I focus solely upon that which is new, I miss out on the opportunity to assess and grow from that which came before.

The gift Death gave me during the meditation was a small red blossom.  As he handed it to me, the blossom began to open, blooming into a glowing and spinning rose red. I am mystified by this flower gift.  Perhaps it points out the necessity of continued spiritual study in order to understand the transcendent state of a flower.  How can I achieve a purely conscious state of being in which Death is natural, easy, understood, and perfect?  In any case, the flower was beautiful and alive and growing, the picture of possibility after the decay of death.

As the Soul Meditation progressed, Death enfolded me in his arms and we comfortably embraced.  I felt a warm light beaming between our closely pressed hearts and enjoyed that greatly.  If I want to experience renewal and Death, I must embrace endings. Life doesn't end, matter is not destroyed, energy is just turned into other energy. It is our perception of self, our body, our ego that we perceive as life but even when that dies, we are simply redistributed back into the ocean of being, of spirit energy.