Feeling Nostalgic with the VI of Cups

Ya’ll, I’m an Enneagram 4 and I’m as nostalgic as they come. If you have no idea what an Enneagram is, but you love personality tests, do yourself a quick favor and find a free online Enneagram test (or take this paid one that is really good). This free Enneagram test here is definitely adequate and you don’t even have to give them your email address.

The VI of Cups tarot card from the Shadowscapes tarot deck.

Anyway, now that you’re back from that little trip into your own self-awareness, let’s get back to me! Well, if you happen to be a 4 as well, then you’ll really relate to the rest of this post. But even if you’re not, it’s interesting because we’ve all got someone who is a 4 in our lives. And wouldn’t it be nice to understand that person better, especially when they’re taking a long stroll down memory lane that feels a bit over the top?

And this all relates back to the VI of Cups tarot card that I’m prepared to argue is one of the talismans of the Enneagram 4 personality type. The VI of Cups speaks directly of nostalgia, reflecting on childhood and past memories with a tinge of escapism into a more innocent or happy time. It’s that feeling that perhaps things used to be better and you’d like to relive that time in your mind.

There can be a bit of an edge to these rememberings though, if you’re using them to remove yourself from current difficulties in your present day life. You may be tempted to romanticize the past, creating a utopia that didn’t actually occur. This squeezes the heart. Not only are you taking yourself out of the present and hiding in the past, you aren’t even going to a realistic reimagining of the past. You’re making it into a paradise of time which that makes that time feel all the more lost and gone forever. A castle in the sky.

When you’re dealing with an Enneagram 4 or trying to interpret the VI of Cups, you may have a conversation with yourself that goes like this:

“Get it together, would ya!? Why are you so infatuated with a past that never even existed? Why are you staring at a gloomy sky with an exquisite regret for a path not chosen? Who cares if a familiar smell or piece of music reminds you that life is a series of sweet but too short moments that can never be reclaimed?

Listen- it is what it is! We each have a past full of decisions made and other decisions not made. Sure, there were times that were so good as to be painful. When you remember them now, your heart pinches with the wonder of something so beautiful belonging to your memory. Just be happy for yourself, remember it with gratitude, and get back to the present situation.

Or is it that you’re rehashing a let down, a heartbreak, or a loss too terrible to endure? Are you trapped in a loop of remembering why you are the way you are now, because you were hurt and betrayed in the past? I know, that shit was terrible. You deserve to feel strong feelings about it. But also here you are, continuing to bear it for years, if not decades. You are strong. You don’t really need to rehash it again. It’s not serving any real purpose.”

This is soooooo a VI of Cups and Enneagram 4 conversation. If it is proclaimed with a sense of chagrin at your own elusive nature and a slow shake of the head at how unfathomably irrational you are, that is more of an upright VI of Cups. It’s a bittersweet walk through a glorious past. If it is said with tears of sadness pouring down your face, it is probably a reversed VI of Cups conversation. This is the walk of grief over a difficult or challenging past.

The VI of Cups tarot card from the Rider Waite Smith tarot deck.

The imagery of the traditional Rider Waite Smith tarot card of the VI of Cups shows two small humans passing a Cup of flowers between them. They are surrounded by five more Cups full of flowers. Perhaps these figures are meant to be children, but there is something off about them and the overall perspective of the card. They appear almost as miniature adults. Could this be reflecting the idea that this card is about adults looking back on childhood but with the eyes of an adult? You can’t see it quite the way you saw it when you were a child, because your perspective has changed with all the intervening years.

This is the wonder of memory. It is not a perfect encapsulation of what actually occurred at some point in the past. It is a constantly shifting and amorphous substance without solid form. The way we grow and the experiences we have in the meantime shape the way we remember. A time that was difficult and full of pain can be looked back on with happiness and joy because of the things we accomplished and the ways that experience made us grow. Now that time seems golden because we wouldn’t be where we are or who we are without those experiences.

Of course, there are also times that we look back on with the knowledge that we currently possess and joyful days turn sour or miserable. Perhaps we had no idea that someone we loved was lying to us or cheating on us at that time. Now, the memory is tainted with the wisdom of time that reveals a person’s real character. The past is ever shifting and changing in our memories as time goes by and transforms us.

The sense of yearning or longing that can be a by-product of nostalgia spreads beyond the VI of Cups, seeping into the surrounding cards in the tarot- the V of Cups and the VII of Cups. When your nostalgia teeters into the land of regret and wallowing in past mistakes, you’re backpedaling into V of Cups territory. If your walk down memory lane transports you to the “what ifs” of an alternative past and therefore different a present or future, you’re drifting into VII of Cups space.

Life is a progression. We never stand still. Change is all around us. The VI of Cups can present us with a moment to pause and reflect. How did we get where we are now? What events of the past shaped us? How have we grown in response? When this card comes up in a reading, it shows that there is an opportunity to learn from the past and make a point of taking important lessons learned with us into the future.

Remember, that this is only a passing moment though. Don’t get stuck in the VI of Cups as so many Enneagram 4 type people are wont to do. There is an allure to digging into the past, examining your experiences, and trying to make sense of who you are today by judging and analyzing those past experiences. The desire to understand ourselves can be deep, but it can also be unimportant. Even if you have no idea how you ended up where you are now, the most important thing is to deal with your present, where you actually are. It is in the present that you can make decisions and create a beautiful life. You can’t go back and change anything or make anything in the past.

For now, for me, I’m going to try and snap out of my nostalgia. It can grab me for a few days at a time and keep me longing for some long ago time when things were better. The people and places I once knew are gone, never to return. But where I am now is also worthwhile. I shouldn’t neglect it. And the places and people I have yet to see could be infinite! The future is wide open. So, I’ll shuffle the VI of Cups back into the tarot deck and get on with living.